Why are the socks still in the dryer?

I may have become more absent-minded lately. I start a load of laundry and move on to something else. I walk to another room later in the day, only to be surprised by the silent washer, already finished with its work. The damp clothes call, and I respond, placing some in the dryer and others on a drying rack. The clothes on the rack have a better chance of getting home in my dresser than those hiding inside the dryer. That pile might lie there for a day or two before my sister reminds me to empty the dryer, as her own clothes need that space. The clothes in the dryer don’t complain too much; it’s cozy in there, and my socks get a respite from being gnawed on by Selkie.

Selkie, 10 months old

Some people might interpret this as a sign of aging. I respectfully disagree.  I would offer that it’s a sign of maturity, of being present, in the moment, and reducing the busyness of my life. I spent decades being on top of things, making lists, checking things off, and never letting anything fall through the cracks. I was the Queen of Getting It Done.

However, that productivity came at a cost: anxiety was my constant 24-hour/day companion, downtime was elusive, and I was rarely fully present anywhere as my mind constantly raced to prepare for the next activity. My brain was too busy, and my body was tired. 

Artist: Peter Tuney, Wynwood Walls, Miami, February 2026

I left a corporate role two years ago, and it’s taken me this long to slow myself down. I’m rediscovering the delight of serendipity, days without appointments, and time for contemplation. I’ve also discovered the joy of writing and storytelling: the luxury of having one thought and following it through to the end.

I no longer want to be the responsible one, the reliable one, the one who comes through when everyone else has given up. I still call on my responsible self for help, but only for specific assignments. For the foreseeable future, I’m going to be irresponsible!

I realize that having this time is an incredible privilege. Decades of high-intensity, high-stress work have allowed me to fulfill the dream of leaving a corporate career two years shy of official retirement. I am grateful for that, in light of the challenges many face around the globe today.

With that in mind, I am learning to be OK with the late return of a library book or with patiently waiting in traffic when the driver in front of me is confused. My socks may spend too much time in the dryer, and this newsletter might be delayed.

Artist: Scott Froschauer, Wynwood Walls, Miami 2026

My only regret is that I didn’t explore this more open and relaxed state of mind earlier in my life. Back then, I saw life with an intensity that made it hard for me and those around me to relax and appreciate the moment. While I can’t change the past, I can change my present. 

Annie Dillard’s lovely quote:

“How you spend your days is how you spend your life.”

reminds me to be mindful of my choices.

My days are now slower and softer. I appreciate the tiny lizard dancing on the screen of my office window; the warmth of Selkie’s soft fur on my bare feet. I offer extra support to a friend going through a tough time. 

Lizard dance, Winter Park, 2026

So call me absent-minded if you must, I prefer present-minded and appreciative.