This trombone doesn’t fit …
Street band at Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam - 2019
Being introverted, I was strongly nudged by my mom to join groups at my Catholic High School, so I signed up for the band as a flute player. It was simple enough: band practice twice a week, and the occasional trip to a football game. It wasn’t my favorite, but it got me out of the house and talking to people outside of my normal circles. Most of us were misfits, and being a band member united us in a strange way. Mr. C, who led our band of misfits, was a very enthusiastic musician with aspirations we would never fulfill, to his great disappointment.
One Saturday morning, we were lined up in the school parking lot, waiting to board the bright yellow school bus that would take us to the day’s football game. We waited patiently as each student boarded the bus with their instrument. Tuba players up front, as their instruments needed more room, and flute players near the end of the line, as we needed less space.
However, today, the line was stopped. I leaned forward, trying to discern what the holdup was. At the front of the line, I watched Tim, our trombonist, attempting to board the bus. Carrying his rather large trombone case horizontally with both hands, across his body, he was busy talking and goofing around with his buddies. As he placed one foot on the first step, his body stopped when both ends of the trombone case banged against the sides of the bus doorway. Undeterred, he took a step back and tried again. Same result. Confused, he tried a third time.
Finally, an exasperated Mr. C walked over and pivoted his trombone case 90 degrees so that it was vertical, and Tim easily boarded the bus with an embarrassed grin. The rest of us were in tears, laughing, as we watched the comedy show unfold. Tim wasn’t trying to be funny, but 16-year-old brains are often undeveloped and distracted.
Looking back on this, I found a few lessons for my coaching clients as well as myself:
Gather data; track your progress to see what is and isn’t working. Rather than look at what was happening, Tim kept trying over and over to board the bus with a horizontal trombone. Had he taken a minute to understand what was happening, he might have figured out the issue and pivoted on his own. But, distracted by his friends, he kept goofing around with his head turned backward, not watching what he was doing. He was trying to be cool. It wasn’t until his third try that he realized something wasn’t working. Are there times when you let your ego stop you from seeing data you’re not ready to see?
If you’re not finding success in your current career or job search, could it be time to pivot (pun intended)? Where can you find new ideas, new approaches, new skill sets, new contacts, new resources, etc., to re-energize yourself? Are you trying to board a bus with your horizontal trombone? Or could it be time to find a new bus where your trombone is a better fit?
Who can you help along the way? The rest of us band members just watched as Tim tried to fit a square peg into a round hole. Rather than offer support, we laughed at him. Not only did this delay the boarding process, but it also left Tim feeling foolish. Had one of us had the maturity and grace to offer help earlier, it might have been less embarrassing for him.
In light of this story, I’m offering three complimentary pop-up coaching sessions to the first three people who request them (one session per person). It’s a full-hour coaching session to talk about anything that’s on your mind. No sales pitch, no pressure. It doesn’t matter if we’ve coached before or haven’t. Just reply to this email and I’ll send you a calendar link. If you feel like you’re stuck trying to board a bus with a horizontal trombone, this is your chance!
It’s also time for your July dare: What’s something in your life that needs to pivot, but you’re maybe a little resistant to it? Usually, it’s something we know we should do that would benefit us greatly, but somehow, we’re resisting it for any number of reasons. What if you took a few minutes to explore why you’re holding yourself back? You could also use the free coaching session above if you wanted some help with that.
Animal lovers, my sister and me. Circa 1977