I was out walking a few days ago when I heard a car horn honking in the distance. Beep. Beep-beep. Beeeeeeeeeep. It was getting louder and I assumed it was heading down my street. Sure enough, within a few seconds, I saw it. Could there be a pregnant woman in the passenger seat headed to a hospital? Might there be a medical emergency? No, it was just a heavy-set, grumpy-looking man driving a cluttered, unwashed, older model sedan with his horn going off. As he passed by, I stared with curiosity and continued my walk, listening to the fading beep-beep! Beeeeeeeep! Perhaps his horn was stuck and he was going to the repair shop to get it fixed? Yes, that seemed like a reasonable explanation.

A few minutes later, the beeping started up again returning from where he had been. I turned around, saw the black car, and realized that the honking was intentional. There he was, leaning on his steering wheel with his left hand. Beep! Beep-beep! Beeeeeeep! He passed by and continued on his way never letting up.

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Wow. Just wow. What inspires someone to get into their car and honk their horn as they drive up and down a street? What was he hoping to accomplish? He definitely didn't mind being noticed. Was he expressing unhappiness about something? How did honking really change anything? What results was he seeing? Here's what I noticed: he succeeded in annoying the neighbors living on the street, wasting gas money, polluting the air with exhaust and noise, and probably frightening a number of squirrels.

What lesson could Honking Man be offering? Hmm…. This is when things got interesting: recently, I was accused of something I hadn't done. Opinions were forming left and right, and there was no way to rectify the situation. I was stuck and furious. Of course, I quickly called friends to complain and vent that this was unfair, this shouldn't have happened to me, and I played up the drama. I was mad. I wanted to get even, but in the end, there was nothing to be done. My supportive friends offered their shoulders to lean on, but the situation hadn't changed. It was so frustrating. As I look back on these events, I now realize with horror: I had turned into Honking Man!

In the end, the only thing I had control over was me: I had to change. I had to let go of the anger and resentment against this person, because hanging on to it just drove me to inhale brownies, scrunch my shoulders tight, and bore my friends with the 'it's not fair' rhetoric. My wiser self finally showed up and nudged me towards tools to help with this process. My favorite was Byron Katie's Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet. After spending 15 minutes following the writing prompts, things felt better. I was able to accept what happened and to stop honking my horn. I still don't like what happened, but no longer give it my energy.

Honking Man, thank you for the lesson. The next time I find myself wanting to complain about something over which I have no control, you'll be there reminding me: there are many, more positive choices. Maybe I'll go out and feed the squirrels?