When I browse through catalogs and magazines, I see beautiful people wearing gorgeous clothing looking so glamorous. Secretly, I wish I could be as beautiful, as thin and as stylish as the models. I think I will feel better about myself when I'm thinner, with a better haircut and wearing more fashionable clothing.
But even when the exterior is perfect, the interior voices remain the same: "you're way behind, you need to work harder, stop eating so much chocolate". The messages run the gamut from voices I heard growing up ("you're so selfish and lazy, you're too sensitive, why won't you talk to me, when will you get married? you should know this by now!") to the demands I place on myself to meet my often impossible standards (be an expert parent, wife, athlete, artist, consultant, friend, chef AND make sure the house is clean).
I smile when I contemplate the often ridiculous demands I place on myself. Life does go on, even when I'm a few pounds heavier than I'd like, when I've missed my morning walk, when I'm late for an appointment, when the beds are not made and there's dog hair piling up in that corner of the kitchen. I'm learning to enjoy the new catalog I'm creating for myself, one that is less critical and more self-accepting. And I hear a new inner voice saying "It's about time".